Sieberts remember daughters lost in TWA tragedy

In this July 17, 2000, file photo, family members and friends of victims of TWA Flight 800 hold hands after lighting 230 candles on the beach at Smith Point County Park in Shirley, N.Y., near where the Boeing 747 crashed in the Atlantic Ocean off the waters of the park on July 17, 1996, killing all 230 people on board. Twenty years after the aircraft exploded in a fireball off Long Island, the passage of time has been a salve for some, but others will never get over the heartache. (AP Photo/Ed Betz, File)
In this July 17, 2000, file photo, family members and friends of victims of TWA Flight 800 hold hands after lighting 230 candles on the beach at Smith Point County Park in Shirley, N.Y., near where the Boeing 747 crashed in the Atlantic Ocean off the waters of the park on July 17, 1996, killing all 230 people on board. Twenty years after the aircraft exploded in a fireball off Long Island, the passage of time has been a salve for some, but others will never get over the heartache. (AP Photo/Ed Betz, File)

Former Mid-Missourians Larry and Helen Siebert are in New York City this weekend, joining with friends they've made in the aftermath of a night both wish never had happened - the night they lost their daughters (their only children) in the TWA Flight 800 explosion.

Chrisha Siebert, 28, and Brenna Siebert, 22, - and their cousin, Stephanie Gaetke, 32, and her husband, Dan Gaetke, 32 - were four of the 230 people who died 20 years ago tonight, just 12 minutes after the Boeing 747 had left JFK Airport, bound for Paris.

Helias High School graduate J. Edward "Butch" Anderson, 50, and his wife, Patricia "Patty" Anderson, 42, of St. Louis, also were killed in the explosion.

"We always remember the girls. We think about them all the time," Larry said last week during a telephone interview from their new home in Fort Meyers Beach, Florida.

"We're going to go back to New York and be with the other families and re-acquaint with some of the people we've been involved with very closely."

Helen remembers "utter frustration" from the night of the explosion because it was hours before they would get official confirmation their daughters were aboard the fatal flight.

"TWA did not have enough phones (and) did not have enough people prepared or trained to help the families," she recalled, "and it was just utter frustration that first night.

"They had an 800 number, but you couldn't get through on it - it was always busy."

She also noted the accident that tore their family apart happened "before the Family Assistance Act was passed by Congress and before a lot of organizations were formed to help people who have similar occurrences, whether they're airplanes, buses, trains, cruise ships or whatever."

Helen added: "For me, I look back and realize how far certain things have come to help people not have to go through what we did that first night."

A relative who lived on Long Island confirmed their daughters were on the exploded flight - hours before the airline made an official confirmation.

Helen said their daughters were "the light of our lives. They brought us such joy - always - even though we may not have approved of every choice they made.

"They were so different but yet so alike, and they loved life.

"And that makes me feel good, that they accomplished so much in the short time that they did live."

Both parents said the accident emphasized the importance of thinking of and spending time with family.

"Life is so short that they must live every moment," Helen said. "Every family is going to have regrets and sadness."

Larry added: "Love your children - and know that something can happen very suddenly."

Because they died in what then was the third-worst airline disaster in history, the Sieberts noted, their daughters, niece and the others killed received more attention than others who die.

The Sieberts were interviewed for this story before Thursday night's massacre in Nice, France, where a man driving a rented truck killed more than 80 people.

"There's a whole lot of victims, and it continues to go on today, with other tragedies," Larry said. "And that's why I think you just have to sit down and say, 'I'm going to take it one day at a time' and 'I love you' and those kinds of things."

Helen added, those families "feel the same loss and the same grief, and they have to work through it just like we're still working through it."

Chrisha was a teacher at Kansas City's Rockhurst College, and was planning to be married in 1997.

Brenna lived in Holts Summit and worked at Jefferson City's Westside Veterinary Clinic.

The Sieberts established memorials for both women.

Brenna's legacy includes the "Pet Care Fund Adoption Days," which ran Thursday-Saturday. The fund pays the adoption fees for dogs and cats adopted from the Jefferson City Animal Shelter during the period.

This year, the program helped adopt 44 animals, bringing the total since the program began to 1,559 cats and dogs.

"It brings us a feeling that Brenna would be proud because animals were her love in life," Helen said.

There also is a scholarship in Brenna's memory at the Special Learning Center, and both women are remembered in scholarships at Jefferson City High School.

Chrisha's love was theater, and the family established endowments in her memory in the theater departments at the University of Missouri in Columbia and at Ohio State University.

This weekend's gathering of members of the families who were left behind is one of the positives from the tragedy, the Sieberts said.

"We would never have met each other, I don't think, if it hadn't happened," Helen said, "and we have established so many fantastic friendships.

"But at first, we felt guilty because we were enjoying each others' company and building bonds."

They've realized those bonds are part of an important support group because all have experienced the same sense of loss from the same accident.

Larry said: "I hope no one reading this ever will have to go through it."

Related story:

Healing and heartache continue two decades after TWA Flight 800 air disaster